The Spiritual journey of Transition

 The Spiritual journey of Transition 

The path of transition is a perfect allegory for the cycle of death and re-birth, which is arguably the very core of religion and philosophy itself. As such, the long and treacherous, yet equally rewarding journey of transition known to many transgender individuals across the world today has a multitude of surprising parallels to deeply spiritual and ritualistic religious paths throughout history. Profound wisdom found along these paths are the spiritual foundation of both the growth of our species as well as the growth of individuals on the quest for greater understanding of oneself and the world around them. From the oldest surviving texts of the earliest civilizations to ancient Greece, to the dominant religions of the modern era, the path of the transgender person is woven and inseparable from the tale of human existence. While stone tablets crumble and papers burn, transgender people will be ever present as reminders and will continue to reflect these truths through our own inherent struggles, shining ever brighter against the backdrop of the darkest adversities. This inseparable entanglement, of the transgender journey, and ancient religion also cement the transgender path and the physical transition generally associated with it as undeniably spiritual in nature. The roots of transgender ideals extend so deeply into our collective history that the legitimacy of one's call to transition predates and even supersedes ideals of modern religion and Christianity.

One such source of death and rebirth parallels comes from one of the most secretive and prominent cults of antiquity, the widely respected Eleusinian Mysteries of ancient Athens, Greece (often debated to be the origin of the Freemasons among other prestigious keepers of esoteric secrets, & loosely based off the even older story of Innana-Ishtar). Referencing the "Eleusinian Mysteries & Rites" by Dudley Wright, (1919), the Eleusinian cult was highly selective and open only to those deemed to be of highest morality and was known to have rejected many powerful emperors and supposedly even Hercules himself over his violent nature. This highly influential cult in particular was centered around a series of elaborate ceremonies and rites built around the story of Demeter's search for Persephone. In one's initiation, one participated in what was essentially a reenactment of the tale, featuring its symbolism of the cycle of death and rebirth with great emphasis on the wisdom found wherein. At each stage of the journey, each deity was referred to by a different name. Just as Persephone, goddess of spring and flowers becomes Kore, the queen of Hell and ruler over death itself, transgender people are "reborn" under new names as they emerge from one's trials and ultimately claim their true forms. In the "Lesser Mysteries" portion of the Eleusinian rights, one was taught that we are all literally born into Tartarus (Hell) itself, a remarkably common sentiment among pre-transition transgender people at the deepest depths of "gender dysphoria" the name given to the truly unbearable psychological despair most trans people face before transition. Once the irrationality of hades is purified from a person they become 'enlightened' and one finally reaches the world of bliss, just as many transgender people eventually reach the much sought-after blissful state of 'gender euphoria', the very opposite of gender dysphoria. In the Eleusinian Mysteries, both hell and bliss are portrayed as overlapping realms in which we all simultaneously co-exist, but to experience the bliss one needs to first awaken into their true self through a spiritual rebirth very similar to the natural lives of trans people. Even more interesting however are the surviving details of the Eleusinian initiation ceremonies themselves. From what historians have gathered, initiation included a procession of deep holy significance across great distance (over 22km). This toilsome ceremony lasted about a week and was characterized by fasting, ritual purification, and meditation. Near the end of the journey, initiates endured brutal berating, mockery and even physical beating while blindfolded before finding themselves in what appeared to be the great and terrible ream of the underworld itself. As the arduous journey reached its climax, the hellish scene was then transformed into a cheerful festive celebration with music, feasting, and much rejoicing. This, possibly the most significant part of the initiation could simply not be a more compelling comparison to the transgender experience. After a trans person endures their long, dark, and lonely pre-transition ordeal, starved from joy and sustenance, and finally begins to find their truth thus embarking upon their journey of transformation, they are immediately met with the cruelest rejection, ridicule, and sometimes even physical brutalization they've ever seen. Nearly half of trans people attempt suicide and practically all trans people have seriously considered it, especially at this stage in the journey. After standing at the very precipice of hellish annihilation however, the survivors are reborn into new and joyous lives they never could have imagined previously.

The art of Alchemy tracing back to Ancient Egypt where it was preserved through works like the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (in approximately 1900BC) and later adopted by the ancient Greeks, Arabs, Spanish, and independently developed in Ancient China and India contains similar profound parallels to the path of transition. Widely credited as the beginning of science as we know it, Alchemy was truly the ancient union of science, religion, and philosophy before they diverged into isolated fields of study. Some alchemists conducted their work in the pursuit of literal gold while others applied the process of transmutation to themselves in the pursuit of personal growth and the spiritual union of one’s Earthly self and the divine. Regardless of the goal, most all alchemists were known for their obsession with symbols, which as Carl Jung (famous for applying alchemy to modern psychotherapy) points out in "Man and His Symbols" (1964) are “an excellent way to represent concepts one doesn’t fully comprehend”. Jung is also famous for his discovery that alchemical symbolism shares remarkable parallels with symbolism in dreams, which he studied extensively. This all connects to transgender people through the unique and severe psychological trauma such individuals tend to face and the rigorous self-purification process one is forced to undergo in order to heal.

As conveniently summarized by Nigel Hamilton in his condensed paper "The Alchemical Process of Transformation." ( 1985) , there are four stages of transmutation in Alchemy known as Nigredo (the darkness), Albedo (The stage of the moon, characterized by withdrawing and looking inwards), Citrinitas (The stage of the sun and sense of revelation), and Rubedo (Returning to Earth, re-incarnating as the illuminated, true self) which correspond perfectly to the excruciating journey that makes up a transgender person’s transition. This journey is characterized by periods of incredibly intense darkness, but it is in this darkness that one truly faces their demons (manifestations of one’s shadow self), and thus begins to understand the truth and nature of one's existence incongruent to the surrounding world. Through this darkness however, one's false previous identity is subsequently destroyed and the path out of that darkness and isolation is finally revealed. Then as one climbs out, a truly remarkable transformation occurs as the authentic self is miraculously re-born into the world having returned to its source and connected with the divine power of creation. A trans person transitioning is not simply about taking on a new appearance, but a vastly higher level of functioning and self-understanding. Despite knowing nothing consciously about the alchemical process at the time, through a combination of work in the subconscious world of dreams (the focus of Carl Jung’s work) and in the conscious world of daily life, my own transition (nearly identical to many others) still perfectly mirrored the four stages of alchemical transmutation:

 Long ago now, my pre-transition dreams (reflecting my psychological state at the time) included an entire year of horrific, demonic nightmares representative of the Negredo state in alchemy, which I eventually learned to fight and burn away, thus elevating me to the first stage of my own spiritual purification. After that, my dreams (again a convienient representation of my subconscious state) entered a year long period of reflection and meditation corresponding with  alchemical stage of Albedo (the stage of the moon), including one particular dream (that felt like years to me) where I simply meditated in peace on an island in space. When I finally awoke from that dream, I began my actual transition, taking my first (nonprescription) hormones and thus truly facing my greatest fears, such as the potential rejection of my dearest ones, my peers, and my deity. Early Transition itself, lasted several years for me, and that part of my journey, strongly corresponded to alchemical Citrinitas, and was perhaps the most difficult stage of all, where I was switching back and forth between gender presentation, keeping my true self a secret to most, while also discovering the truth of my psychological (disassociation) issues that I had previously developed to cope with my traumas. With the help of a therapist, this was also the point where I finally came to the realization that my old life truely had to end completely. 99.99% of my thoughts at that point were suicidal, but once I actually fully claimed my true self and stopped hiding anything, for the most part, all that simply went away. In the end (alchemical Rubedo) it was truly like I had suddenly reincarnated and awkwardly entered into the life of someone else. I even had a remarkably different body and interests, and most excitingly a new creative energy that I began to apply to hobbies like drawing and writing.

 This alchemical process is also in significant overlap with many forms of modern witchcraft which almost universally embrace the aforementioned principles, sharing such concepts as the "Dark night (/twilight) of the soul" and a related universal aspect known commonly as "Shadow Work". This term refers to the path of recognition of one's emotional blind spots and repressed core features. Living in a world where being transgender is not only unexpected but widely discouraged, most trans people are currently forced to suppress their true self, often so securely that it is lost even from oneself. The excavation of that suppressed identity thereby becomes its own challenge and forces those on such a path to truly face one's trauma and deepest subconscious fears. Completing this pre-requisite however thus removes that which stands in the way of one's true potential and self-actualization and leads to the power of great transformation and manifestation of new possibilities and realities. This is perhaps one of many reasons why so many openly trans people find themselves so at home immersed in witchcraft and other fascinating worlds often feared by others. Although most who willingly embark upon the path of transmutation are not transgender, all those who are transgender are destined to walk this path one way or another, as the path of transition and transmutation are one in the same. The deep wisdom within this path will therefore also be preserved so long as trans people exist. Since the status of being transgender is an immutable part of an individual since birth, rather than a product of upbringing (as most all trans people will passionately attest), transgender people will continue to be born regardless of the level of societal acceptance or understanding and will thus serve as guides to this path forever.

 Transgender and otherwise gender non-conforming people themselves are not just a subtext or a window into the wisdom of the cycle of life and death, however. Despite having always been a minority, such individuals have also always been active participants in religious history and do make a plethora of direct and deeply significant appearances in ancient religious texts as well. When Lord Rama was banished in the Ramayana for example, the men and women in the party were sent away to Ayodhya while the hijras (trans/non-binary people) stayed with Lord Rama and were honored. Inanna (also known Ishtar), one of the most ancient and revered Goddesses ever recorded, was known to transform the sex of worthy transgender Mesopotamian devotees. The many tales of Inanna also emphasize her role as the Liminal Goddess; the embodiment of transcendence between worlds and balance of dualities - all core aspects of the transgender journey. Her descent and return from the underworld are also widely regarded as inspiration for the story of Persephone many centuries later (for which the plethora of transgender implications has already been outlined).  Furthermore, in Hinduism, the transgender deity Sudymma was born Ila but was divinely transformed into a male deity, thereafter taking on his new name. A vast number of other deities including Greek Agdistis, Philipine Amihan, Ardhanarishvara (Shiva combined with Parvati in Hinduism), Scythian Artimpasa, Baphomet, Egyptian Hapi, Japanese Inari Okami, Jumadi (Tuluva/Buta Kola), and Vaikuntha Kamalaja (Vishnu combined with Lakshmi in Hinduism) just to name a small sample were all non-binary/androgenous.

 Significant links to the transgender path can even be drawn from Christianity, the premier aggressor in the suppression and ostracization of transgender people. The central message of Christianity is that of unconditional love, compassion and reverence towards the oppressed, suffering, and outcast, in contrast to the rich and powerful who 'have a better chance of fitting a camel through the eye of a needle than getting into the kingdom of heaven'. If taken seriously by practitioners, this central message, easily exemplified by the individuals Jesus Christ (Yahawashi) chose to help and devote his life to (like leopards, poor, and prostitutes) would be easily transposed onto trans people who are among the most oppressed, tortured, and outcast in modern society today. Unfortunately, ever since Greek "arsenokoitai" ("child molester") was retranslated to "homosexual" in 1946, much of this central message was lost and transfigured into its very opposite. The Christian bible even makes explicit warnings against what Christianity has widely come to be today in such passages as Galatians 3:28 which states "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you all are one in Christ". In "Transforming: The bible and the lives of Transgender Christians" (2018) Austen Hartke points out a gross misunderstanding among many Christians on Genesis 1:27 "So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them". Many ill-intentioned "Christians" weaponize the poetic use of dualities throughout the bible including this passage against trans/non-binary people as if dawn and dusk are abominations because God only explicitly created "Day and Night", which is of course outrageous. By such flawed logic, even marshes would be considered abominations as God supposedly only created "land and water". Only a fool simply asserts mindless fallacies like these into a work translated through multiple languages and societies over thousands of years like it were a lawbook. On the other hand, a person who is able to read actual lessons conveyed by text might instead see the underlying implications from the concepts presented such as the idea that being created in the image of God above, we likewise share in the creative process from below. Being made transgender therefore can be concluded to have a purpose in invoking change and evolution of the self (which it does). The act of transitioning would far more reasonably be seen as divine intention rather than the childish debate we typically see today against the acceptance of trans people as human beings. Although the more modern term “transgender” did not exist in the cultures behind the Christian bible, there is vast mention of “eunuchs” who were considered outside of the gender binary and treated as such. Another point Hartke makes in his book is that throughout the gospel Jesus never heals a eunuch or portrays them negatively. Instead, he elevates them as an example to follow. In Matthew 19:11-12 Jesus said “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so since birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made so by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can”. Hartke also discusses a series of old testament examples of the elevation of eunuchs, including Isaiah 56:3-8 which says “To the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give, in my house and within my walls a monument and a name greater than sons and daughters…”. In essence, the Christian bible provides a mountain of reasons for people to admire and emulate trans/non-binary people rather than to lead the sad farse crusade of trans extermination that many so called “Christians” are a part of today.

 Some religions and cults are built solely on mystical secrets but are eventually eroded into oblivion over time as victims of their own secrecy. The previously mentioned Eleusinian Mysteries is one of countless examples of this, and even after centuries of work, historians are never able to fully restore the doctrines of the past. In contrast, many major surviving religions dissociate into two separate forms. While the simplified surface version of a religion is all that is known to most practitioners, hidden beneath is a whole world of mystery that travels along through time under the surface religion. Some prime examples of this are Sufism in Islam, the Vajrayana scriptures in Buddhism, Sikhism (a mystical conglomeration of Hinduism and Islam), and Merkavah(Chariot) Mysticism and Kabbalism hidden in Judaism. These secret esoteric structures are generally preserved through metaphors, symbolism, hidden layers of surface level stories, and even secret complementary reading. The insights found in these deeper levels of religion are also commonly deemed simply too advanced for the average religious pawn to grasp. Considering how many uneducated “religious” folks disregard transgender people, perhaps this particularly conceited standpoint is not as far off as it may seem. Nevertheless, these deeper meanings offer even more meaningful understanding as to the significance of the transgender experience as well as provide the keys to understanding texts that the fools of society already distort and misuse. The God of Judaism for example has been heavily emphasized by Kabbalah mystics for thousands of years to be genderless, yet in the surface religion (the ‘for dummies’ version) he/him pronouns and thus the mischaracterizations associated with such are used just so other people can get the gist of the most basic messages presented. Unfortunately, this severely limits perception and room for growth of the general public who easily get hung up in such simple concepts as pronouns. This also means that the very nature of their God is lost to them from the beginning. While Jewish mystics refer to God as Ein Sof (endlessness), unbound by time and taking up no space, the general public uses severely flawed and misleading terms like Father to describe the same concept which is truly incompatible (reference “God is a Verb, Kabbalah, and the practice of mystical Judaism by rabbi David A. Cooper). The hidden mystical regions of these religions are also among the best places to find bridges linking other religions and concepts together. The Ancient Emerald Tablet of Hermes as translated from Jabir ibn Hyyan (Known as the father of Alchemy) for example, states the famous words “That which is above is from that which is below, and that which is below is from that which is above, working the miracles of one”. Although this tablet is the very foundation of alchemy, identical virtues are hidden in Judaism through the Kabbalistic teachings throughout the Zohar. This is also a key concept in the understanding of the interconnectedness of everything in the universe and the realization that nothing is inconsequential (material or otherwise). This further extends to the realization that every being therefore can share the divine power of creation and thus the ability to shape the universe. This also has profound implications for the trans experience that would make those stuck on the surface religions quite uncomfortable. Essentially, transgender people are not merely a symbol of death and rebirth, but are literally death and rebirth taking place in human form. It is also no coincidence that the Kabbalah reveals that the most effective way to alter one’s fate in the universe is through the changing of one’s name, as transgender people are true weavers of fate and this practice for which trans people are very well known is built into the very nature of what it means to be trans.

 Although an individual is transgender regardless of one’s surroundings, the environment of anything still guides the process of change and acts as a modifier to its relative meaning and direction (this is a core principle of the i-Ching). The more society rejects trans people for example, the more arduous the trans struggle becomes and therefore the greater the contrast and the more power every trans person will wield to help restore that balance. Like the white dot in the Yin Yang symbol, trans people under the worst and darkest conditions become like a torch in the night. For it is where the greatest difference in energies occur that potential energy reaches its pinnacle. The inherent subconscious wisdom trans people carry thus becomes a path to salvation in dark hours of humanity. As guides to self-actualization, mirrors into the unconscious esoteric secrets of humanity’s past, portals to the divine power of creation, and weavers of fate, the path of the transgender person is indeed a holy one and transition itself should therefore be regarded with the same venerance as any other spiritual path or religious entity. Subsequently, the transgender path therefore proving to be religious and spiritual in nature cannot be reasonably impeded upon in any nation that prioritizes the virtue of religious freedom.

 

 Helpful References:

 

Nigel Hamilton. "The Alchemical Process of Transformation." 1985.

 "Man and His Symbols" by Carl Jung (1964) (also check out this creator who’s content convinced me to buy the book: https://twitchytarot.com/315-2/)

 Eleusinian Mysteries & Rites" by Dudley Wright, (1919)

 "Transforming: The bible and the lives of Transgender Christians" by Austen Hartke (2018)

 “God is a Verb, Kabbalah, and the practice of mystical Judaism by rabbi David A. Cooper (1997)

 “The Emerald Tablet of Hermes” (Anonymous, but Kessinger Publishing/www.kessinger.net provides multiple helpful translations).

 “I-Ching: The book of Change”, Translated by David Hinton (2015).

 And of Course the Christian bible, Ramayana, ect..

 

 

 Final Notes:

I recognize that I may be reaching outside my jurisdiction as an engineer/goat herder/casual 3d artist writing about religion, but this path is important to me & I implore you to send any helpful criticism, feedback, tips, opposing viewpoints, ect.. my way through my email: runamorgen1@gmail.com.

Thanks,

   Runa Morgen